Today is the Day!

This is the special launch day for my first book, The boy who grew up to RULE® the world & how You can too!

Go to Amazon, here: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1547154756/

I had wanted to provide a super special price but Amazon didn’t get it changed in time, and the discount code I provided on FB, IG, and Twitter isn’t working on Amazon as I had intended. I apologize for the inconvenience.

I appreciate all the support! We have moved up the charts to 171st, last count, and I hope to get in the top 100 before the end of the day.

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!

Karl

When a Dot is More Than a Dot

Things are often not as they seem, and when we make assumptions about an event or another’s behavior, we may well be wrong and sorry.  How might a printing process teach us something about life?  When you take a very close look at a picture in a magazine, what valuable lesson might it reveal?

Many years ago, I was CEO of a leading packaging manufacturing company, and one of the operations we used was printing.  We acquired a state-of-the-art, eight color printing press so we could do process work, which is the printing method used to print pictures (whether for magazines, newspapers, packages, labels, etc.).  Most people know a little about this process now because every color, computer printer uses this method.  It is also the principal on which computer screens, televisions, smartphones, etc., create their beautiful images.

Take a look at a picture in a magazine or from your color printer with a magnifying glass or a loupe, and you’ll see that it is made up of many tiny dots of certain colors, organized specifically to generate the image.  One dot on it’s own will never make a picture.  It can only represent a dot.  Similarly, several dots, but not organized correctly, will create a blurry or even incomprehensible image.  What does this have to do with life?

Events happen throughout our lives, and each one of them represents a dot.  Each one, on its own, can only represent itself.  Sometimes we attach meaning to an event by making an assumption about its meaning.  When a similar event continues to occur, it becomes a series of dots and a more definitive meaning evolves.  Once there are a sufficient number of dots to create a clear picture, only then is it appropriate to attribute certain meaning, which is likely, by then, to be obvious.  You know that old saying about what happens when we “assume.”  Quite often, when we assume a certain meaning without proper consideration, we react rather than respond, and that can end up being the ultimate assumption.  Only when the dots are aligned in just the right way will the picture become unmistakably clear.

quo_mlkjrSo the next time an event, a dot, occurs in your life, take note of it and allow it to be just a dot, like a blip on a radar screen.  Save yourself from being wrong and sorry, the victim of a self-inflicted assumption.  If that dot appears over and over, if it occurs repeatedly, the truthful meaning will become clear, and when it does, you will be able to make the appropriate response, saving yourself and perhaps another from a very uncomfortable and embarrassing situation.

We are all unique, and we see things through our eyes and with our filters.  I encourage you to remember that we are all more the same than we are different, and yet it is all of our similarities as well as our differences that make this world such an interesting place from which we can learn and grow.  When we open our eyes to all that is possible, we can realize the true joy of all that we share.  How cool is that?!

Please and Thank You, No!

The first lessons of good manners, and other than “Mommy” and “Daddy,” often the first words we teach our children, are “Please” and “Thank You.”  We teach them to ask nicely with a, “Please,” and to always say, “Thank you” when someone has done something kind or given them something.  The word, “No” is often the first word they remember us saying to them, repeatedly and usually with some conviction, which is why they seem all to eager to repeat it back to us, seldom to our amusement.

Hearing our children calling us “Mommy” or “Daddy” gives us parents great pride, and their following that up with an “I love you,” can bring joyful tears.  At some stage, the good manners of “Please” and “Thank you” can seem strangers while having fun with their friends, thankfully becoming reacquainted as they grow up.  What else have you noticed about the words, “Please” and “Thank you” and “No?”

Were you ever so displeased with your child saying, “No,” that you may have said something like, “Don’t you tell me no?”  The message that may send children is that they have no power and should never say “No” to an adult.  There are other interpretations, but they do learn at a very early age that “No” is not a word that they may regularly use.  Though we may not want our children to tell us that they will not clean their rooms, we do want them to know that in some cases it is perfectly appropriate for them to say, “No,” which may make it more confusing for them.

“No” is one of the most powerful words anyone can ever say.  As an adult, are you reticent to saying, “No” when asked to do that next project at work or a favor for a friend?  Might that be the result of what you learned as a child?  Were you always trying to please your parents (or to not displease them)?  Has that carried into adulthood where you find yourself wanting to be “nice” and to please others, even to your detriment?

SuccessWhat if the next time someone asks you to do something, you pause and give careful consideration to what is really best for you, and if you decide that you really don’t want to or don’t have the time, tell that someone, “No.”  Now, imagine how wonderful it feels because you haven’t added that “one more thing” to your already busy life and you can actually breathe and do something just for you!  Sometimes, our greatest successes come from our saying, “No,” because it frees us to do that which is most important for our joy and wellbeing.  How cool is that?

What if You Knew What You Didn’t Know?

You may read the title of this post and wonder what in the world I mean, and that would make for a well thought out headline.  After all, the purpose of a well-written headline is to get the reader to read what’s below.  But what if there was really much more to it than that?

We go through our busy lives, often on cruise control or autopilot, and at the end of the day or the end of the week, we may not remember much of what happened and little about what really mattered.  Has that ever happened to you?  What if we could change that without effort, by simply deciding to do so?  What if, as soon as the day following reading this post, or even immediately, from the very next moment, you lived your life more consciously, more aware, and more grateful? Would that make a difference?

How many times in your life have you looked back and wondered, “What if…..?”  Usually when we do that, we are feeling a bit sad or guilty or somehow regretful, which is not healthy or helpful going forward.  I’m not saying it isn’t good to determine what we can do better or differently, but I am saying that feeling guilty or regretful simply keeps us stuck in the past rather than helping us move forward.  So what happens when you don’t know what to do better or differently or how to reach your goals or to be happier?

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What would you do if you did know?  What would you do if you did know how to be happier, how to reach your next goal?  You see, I believe that you actually do know, because you have an innate ability to tap into the many resources in and around you, and the only thing that holds you back is the fear of not knowing, or of making a mistake, or perhaps as or more likely, the fear of getting exactly what it is you want, i.e., the fear of success.

So the next time you are thinking about how you can change your life and your internal voice keeps saying you don’t know what to do, ask yourself, “What would I do if I did know?”  I can just see you now, getting a smile on your face as the answer hits you and you immediately begin to put the answer into action.  And then the ball just starts rolling, and rolling….  How cool is that?

More Than A Hollywood Philosophy

It’s hard to believe how time flies by.  Most of us have certain memories that seem from long ago while others seem like they were just yesterday.  One of the most interesting things to me is that some things can seem like a long time ago as well as having happened just yesterday.  That’s all the time we have for that, though I could go on forever.

Have you ever noticed that when someone says something that catchers your attention, you seem to think about it again, seemingly “out of the blue?”  Isn’t it amazing how the mind works?  Having had an interest in the mind and behavior for most of my life, I have studied many theories and philosophies and have come to the conclusion that there is so much more to learn.  I also know that I have learned many valuable lessons and practices that serve my clients and me quite well, and that, even the most practiced need reminders from time to time.

The mind processes language in a variety of ways, which along with our emotions and other related factors, determine how we react or respond (behave) in given situations.  Some words are simply ignored by the mind, which can cause us to misunderstand an intention spoken by another.  When that happens, it creates a mutual misunderstanding, which can cause a chasm between those involved.  Not good for rapport to say the least.  They may “try” to do better the next time, but that could makes matters worse.

When at first you don’t succeed, try and try again, right?  Wrong!  Trying has never accomplished one desired outcome.  Trying is simply making an attempt.  Why do you think Yoda said, “Do or do not, there is no try,” to young Luke Skywalker?  Because Yoda knew, as any good Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP) practitioner knows, (and in Yoda’s case, a Master Practitioner), that the mind understands “try” to mean, “to make an attempt.”  To “try” at anything will never get you what you really want.  You must do!  Even Nike® understands you have to “Just Do It®” because they know that to “Just Try” would never cut it for Michael Jordan or anyone else they were going to sponsor.

So the next time you hear yourself saying, “I’ll try….,” catch yourself, smile because you did, and then tell yourself to go do whatever it was you were intending to do. Imagine yourself succeeding, and then imagine yourself having succeeded. It may take some practice, but you will find that you can accomplish anything you want to when you do.  How cool is that?

What is Truly Important?

Many years ago I read a book by Richard Carlson entitled, “Don’t’ Sweat the Small Stuff… and it’s all small stuff.”  You may remember that book and may have even read it yourself.  I thought about that book and its theme because of a recent family tragedy, and I thought that as we embark on this new era (according to the Mayan calendar, at least, the world as we knew it ended), it might be worth revisiting.

Over the course of our lives, we are confronted with situations that require our courage, our strength, and our wisdom.  Sometimes we act wiser and with greater strength and courage than at other times, and that’s natural.  What I have learned over the many years I have been at this thing called, “life,” is to concentrate on those things that are most important, that contribute most to my true happiness and well-being.  I am a compassionate and considerate person, so I know I will always have others’ interests in mind, as well.  As a recovering people pleaser, however, I am careful to not focus on others to my own detriment.

As parents, we may be faced with the dilemma of disciplining a child or deciding that a particular action doesn’t warrant that level of attention, which is the “pick your battles” scenario.  Some decisions come easily, and others require that courage and strength, especially when there are no rules that govern or guide us.  This brings me back to the book and its theme, that we are well served by focusing on the truly important things in life and to realize that much of what we believe to be important may actually be rather unimportant.

As you think about the time ahead and how you will live this life with a new focus, evaluate those things in your life that you give most of your attention to.  Are they truly the most important, or do they have an urgency that seems to insist?  Sometimes we pay more attention to things that seem “urgent,” whether they are truly important or not.  In any given moment, consider what is most important, “right now.”  What will help you get closer to a goal or make you most happy?  What can you do that you can be most proud of when you reflect sometime later?  What will have the greatest positive impact on your relationship with your children, spouse, and others who are most important in your life?

When I am breathing my last breath, I will not wish I had spent more time at the office.  I will be most proud of those moments I spent doing things that brought me the most joy and that made a positive difference in the lives of those I love.  When you concentrate on what is truly important, you will realize your greatest joy.  How cool is that?

From Victim to Victor

Many of us have had an accident of some kind and may have suffered an injury.   Some may have suffered other injuries, either physical or emotional.  When something like that happens to us, it is understandable to think of ourselves as victims, especially when another party is involved and seemingly responsible.  What is a potential negative consequence of our feeling like or believing we are victims, and perhaps even believing in “accidents” of “suffering injury?”

In Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP), which is the study and application of how we form beliefs and how those beliefs drive behaviors, we look at the role of language as one factor.  Language is more than simply the spoken word and includes nonverbal language as well as our internal dialogue.  What you say to yourself is important in recognizing why you may behave in a certain way. It relates to the notion, “What you believe, you will achieve.”  The caveat is that you need to be careful about what you say to yourself, because it may just become your truth.quo_gandhi

If you believe you are a victim, is it possible that you have relinquished not only your power but also responsibility for your circumstances?  If you are not responsible for your circumstances, then what purpose is there in learning new skills, in making good decisions, in eating healthy foods that support your body, in exercising, and in being a good example for your children?  Have you ever known someone who always blamed everyone and everything else for their circumstances?  How often have we heard a child say, “That wasn’t my fault?”  My mother never accepted that excuse because she told me it was my responsibility to not allow myself to be in a situation that could result in my being hurt or getting in trouble.  It was my responsibility to leave a situation before getting in trouble or being hurt. I didn’t realize it at the time, but that lesson taught me much about responsibility, which carried over to all aspects of my life.

When you think of yourself as a victim, you give away everything that allows you to accomplish all the wonderful dreams and goals you deserve.  When you take full responsibility for what happens in your life, you become the victor over your life.  When you think of yourself as the victor, the master of your circumstances, then anything is possible.  How cool is that?