How Do You Get What You Want?

Getting what you want is not all about “things” and “stuff.” We all want and deserve more than just material possessions, though those are nice, too. What we also want and deserve, among other things, is to be heard, to have loving relationships, to feel valued and respected, and to live joyful lives. So how do we get all that we want?

Much has been written and spoken about the Law of Attraction, and there remain many misconceptions for a variety of reasons. What I want to do here is to give you the simple truth and simple steps to attract more of what you want in your life. The first and most fundamental simple truth is that it all starts in your mind, with what you believe and continue to tell yourself to be true. If you believe you deserve to have a joyful life and loving relationships, and if your inner-voice continues to affirm that belief, then you will attract others with similar beliefs and, thereby, those attributes in your life.

You may be thinking, “That sounds too simple…,” and that may be true. The more difficult part is continuing to believe when events in your life don’t seem to reflect what you want. The key is to continue believing, because the truth is you do deserve, and good things will come to you. To this end, the second simple truth is to want what you have. Wanting what you have is essentially being grateful for what you have, and the power lies in gratitude. Being grateful not only for what you have but also for what your life is teaching you, is a powerful affirmation that you deserve. When you continue to believe that you deserve the best of life even when things seem difficult, and when you continue to be grateful, even for those difficult times because you learn and grow from those times, then you are living a life that will reward you with all that the best life has to offer.quo_edickinson

 

One of my teachers and mentors, Helene Rothschild, wrote, “The truth is, no matter what anyone says or does…you deserve to be happy, healthy, and successful!” The truth is, to realize the life you want and deserve in all its glory, you must believe that you deserve it with every part of your being. You must continue to believe that you deserve the best life, regardless of any events that seem contrary. When you truly believe that you deserve the life you have dreamt of, and when you live congruently with that belief in every way, you will realize that dreams really do come true. How cool is that?

How to Stay Positive No Matter What

Is it really possible to stay positive regardless of the circumstances?  Wouldn’t that be awesome if that were true?  I’ve met some really positive people, and I remember wondering if they were actually being honest or if they were just pretending to be so positive.  I remember a coworker who came to work the morning after her vehicle had been stolen, and she had the same smile and sunny disposition she always had.

So how can you stay positive regardless of the events you face?  Much can be revealed by how we react to the weather, traffic, and other rather routine events.  Listen to your own internal dialogue next time.  We have all dealt with adverse weather or traffic jams, and though they aren’t typically dramatic (absent the recent winter storm), we usually don’t let them get us down.  We just deal with them and look forward to another day.  We all know people, however, who tend to look at the negative side of things or who complain about nearly everything, including things they can’t control, which is the perfect formula for misery.

Our behavior and mood are reflections of our internal dialogue, which is based on our model of the world and our beliefs.  Those who seem negative most of the time, may believe that the world is a scary or mean place or that everyone is out to get them.  This could have a foundation in a more fundamental belief about their own worthiness, but the gist of it is that they see the world in a negative way.  So, the inverse is also true.  Those who are more positive have a positive, joyful model of the world and themselves.  The most positive and successful people also have what I believe is the most empowering belief  for having a positive perspective and leading a successful life.quo_edickinson

What would happen if we knew that when negative things happen in our lives, they actually result in a positive outcome no matter how negative the event seems at the time?  If nothing could happen that would result in a long term negative outcome, there would be no reason to have a negative outlook.  I realize this sounds far fetched, but think of it this way.  If you knew you were living the life you were meant to live and that everything that happened was so that you could realize your fullest potential and joy and dream, in every way, wouldn’t you look at life more positively, no matter what happened?  You would indeed! How cool is that?

What if You Knew What You Didn’t Know?

You may read the title of this post and wonder what in the world I mean, and that would make for a well thought out headline.  After all, the purpose of a well-written headline is to get the reader to read what’s below.  But what if there was really much more to it than that?

We go through our busy lives, often on cruise control or autopilot, and at the end of the day or the end of the week, we may not remember much of what happened and little about what really mattered.  Has that ever happened to you?  What if we could change that without effort, by simply deciding to do so?  What if, as soon as the day following reading this post, or even immediately, from the very next moment, you lived your life more consciously, more aware, and more grateful? Would that make a difference?

How many times in your life have you looked back and wondered, “What if…..?”  Usually when we do that, we are feeling a bit sad or guilty or somehow regretful, which is not healthy or helpful going forward.  I’m not saying it isn’t good to determine what we can do better or differently, but I am saying that feeling guilty or regretful simply keeps us stuck in the past rather than helping us move forward.  So what happens when you don’t know what to do better or differently or how to reach your goals or to be happier?

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What would you do if you did know?  What would you do if you did know how to be happier, how to reach your next goal?  You see, I believe that you actually do know, because you have an innate ability to tap into the many resources in and around you, and the only thing that holds you back is the fear of not knowing, or of making a mistake, or perhaps as or more likely, the fear of getting exactly what it is you want, i.e., the fear of success.

So the next time you are thinking about how you can change your life and your internal voice keeps saying you don’t know what to do, ask yourself, “What would I do if I did know?”  I can just see you now, getting a smile on your face as the answer hits you and you immediately begin to put the answer into action.  And then the ball just starts rolling, and rolling….  How cool is that?

The Present is a Gift You Give Yourself

Whenever you think of your life and your situation, do you always take full responsibility for it? When the economy is in a mess, as an example, isn’t it okay to blame external forces for our lack of joy or income?

There is no doubt that external forces have some influence on us. That being said, I think we must also admit that we often take the path of least resistance. Isn’t it easier to blame others (including the economy or some other external forces) than it is to take full responsibility for where we find ourselves? Surely if we are honest, the answer to that question must be, “Yes.”

What we believe (about ourselves, the economy, etc.) is more responsible for determining our future, and therefore our present, than all the external forces. When you find yourself unhappy and blame an external force, you are marginalizing your own power. That may be convenient and easy to do, but it doesn’t help your current situation and, in fact, will only prolong the situation you don’t want, will support and strengthen the disempowering belief, and will prevent you from having the life and joy you do want.

The best way to have the life you really want is to know that you deserve it, to believe you can achieve it, and to do all that you can, including believing in it and yourself, to make it come true. You may want to make a “Treasure Map” of all the things you want. Create a collage on poster board or simply keep a list of what you want your life to be like, including what you want to have (more than just material things). Imagine yourself living that life, and when something external happens, remember that you have the power to live the life you want regardless of external forces.

Eleanor Roosevelt said, “The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” Those dreams and your belief in them and yourself create your present. You can give yourself a wonderful present by dreaming and believing beautiful things. How cool is that?

The Present is a Gift You Give Yourself

Whenever you think of your life and your situation, do you always take full responsibility for it? When the economy is in a mess, as an example, isn’t it okay to blame external forces for our lack of joy or income?

There is no doubt that external forces have some influence on us. That being said, I think we must also admit that we often take the path of least resistance. Isn’t it easier to blame others (including the economy or some other external forces) than it is to take full responsibility for where we find ourselves? Surely if we are honest, the answer to that question must be, “Yes.”

What we believe (about ourselves, the economy, etc.) is more responsible for determining our future, and therefore our present, than all the external forces. When you find yourself unhappy and blame an external force, you are marginalizing your own power. That may be convenient and easy to do, but it doesn’t help your current situation and, in fact, will only prolong the situation you don’t want, will support and strengthen the disempowering belief, and will prevent you from having the life and joy you do want.

The best way to have the life you really want is to know that you deserve it, to believe you can achieve it, and to do all that you can, including believing in it and yourself, to make it come true. You may want to make a “Treasure Map” of all the things you want. Create a collage on poster board or simply keep a list of what you want your life to be like, including what you want to have (more than just material things). Imagine yourself living that life, and when something external happens, remember that you have the power to live the life you want regardless of external forces.

Eleanor Roosevelt said, “The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” Those dreams and your belief in them and yourself create your present. You can give yourself a wonderful present by dreaming and believing beautiful things. How cool is that?

Patience and Trust

Have you ever wanted something so much that you actually tried to hold onto it so tightly that you pushed it away? Have you ever wanted something so much that you wanted it, “Now” instead of allowing the natural flow of life to allow it to happen in perfect time? I know I have, and I have also been told that I was, “Too patient.” If they could only see me now (smile). Carl Jung said, “What you resist, persists.” I believe that the opposite is also true, “What you persist, resists.” We push away that which we hold too tightly. Siddhārtha said, “You only lose what you cling to.” Even modern day philosophers like the guys of 38 Special, Barnes, Carlisi, and Peterik wrote in their song, Hold on Loosely, “Hold On Loosely but don’t let go, If you cling too tight babe, you’re gonna loose control….”

The Universal Law of Attraction says, in part, that what we concentrate on is what we get more of. So how might that apply to the above question? How might holding on to something push it away? One reason we may hold on tightly is because we are afraid that if we don’t, “it” will go away. We don’t trust the flow of life enough to believe that without our control, things won’t turn out the way we want. So the fear, “If I don’t hold on, it will go away,” is attaching all the energy to the belief that, “…it will go away.” Since we get more of what we focus our attention (and energy) on, “it” will go away. It is one of the hardest lessons we learn.

Have you ever heard the expression, “If you love something, let it go?” It doesn’t really mean to “let it go” in the sense of actually letting it slip away, but rather to trust the outcome to such a degree that you need not control it. Let go of the need to control, of having all the answers to questions that may not have answers, yet, and when you let go and, “Let God,” the truth will become clear, the outcome will be perfect, that which you really want and that which is mean to be, will be. There is a natural flow of things and all that is, is perfect. We simply have to trust, to have faith.

This Universal Law of Attraction also applies to things we are afraid of, or things we don’t want. What happens when you hear, “Don’t think of a pink Cadillac.” You have to think of a pink Cadillac before you can “delete” it, so even though I said, “Don’t….” you must. Same goes for things we are afraid of. If I’m afraid that something bad will happen, I will create the situation to make that come true. It will likely have nothing to do with the person involved, but the situation will appear to be one in which they fulfill my fear, just because I created it. And, the reality is, that all this happens at an unconscious level (may also be karmic or at a spiritual, soul level), so if someone were to say that I was the one creating it, I might think they were crazy. I mean, really, why in the world would I create something like that? Right!

Nathaniel Hawthorne said, “Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.” At this moment, I sit quietly, I trust that the outcome, that all my dreams are coming true, are forming perfectly for the highest good of all, and that in my trust and faith in my belief that all will be perfect, all my energy is calm, and all will be perfect. I hold on loosely, but don’t let go. I will never let go. ♥

Blessing and Love!

A Lesson Learned – More About Lessons

Each of us has a story to tell. Each of us has endured hardships, experienced wonderful moments, and has fallen down to then get up. It is the power of the human spirit, or is there more? I believe there is more, but for now I’d like to share some of what I’ve learned that may help you navigate your life with more joy.

I grew up in Denmark and The Netherlands, even though I was born in New York. I learned how to read and write English as a ten year old, and it wasn’t easy. During a good part of my childhood, I felt like an outsider because no matter where we lived (we had moved nine or ten times by the time I was 12), I was the new kid or the foreign kid. Suffice it to say, I always felt I was on the outside looking in.

Without going into detail about what happened during those years and later, what I have realized is that each and every experience I had, whether it was pleasant or seemingly devastating at the time, allowed me to grow into the person I am today. I am still growing, still learning, and I am quite happy with who I am. Most of us realize that we learn from the experiences of life, but do we use that knowledge? I believe the most powerful lesson of all is to believe, especially when in the midst of what seems like something devastating, that what we are experiencing is actually a blessing, a gift. If you believed that to be true, how might that change your life?

When we change the way we look at our world, then the way we experience our world changes. If everything that happened to you were, somehow, for your benefit, would you respond differently to any given situation? When we experience an unpleasant event, we might feel hurt or despair. We tend to not think about how wonderful we’ll feel and how much we will have learned once the event is over. If, on the other hand, we acknowledge the experience and our emotions and then focus on how much we will have learned, how much stronger we will be, and how much better our lives will be once we have moved past that event, then we can feel hopeful, perhaps even excited about what is to come.

Sometimes we are reminded and tested, and it may not be easy or comfortable. It may even be hard and evoke painful emotions. The blessing is, that when we are able to be true to who we really are and to get to the other side of it with our most loving intentions intact, we can be proud of lessons learned. What comes next is the realization that there is nothing we cannot manifest. Your wildest dreams are but a few winks away. How cool is that? ❤

The best is yet to come!

Karl