Tag Archives: powerful

The Illusion of Time

How often have you reflected on the passing time and wondered where the days, weeks, months, and even years have gone? For some of the younger readers, perhaps time seems to be dragging on. For me and countless others of you, time goes by so fast, it seems crazy that it is October, 2016, already!

One interesting thing about time is that a past event may seem like a long time past or just as easily, something that happened only a short time ago. To me, the most interesting thing about time is when an event from the past seems to have happened, both a long time ago as well as quite recently. It surely does not seem like more than a year ago that I wrote my last post, and yet it also seems like so very long ago that I was shaken by what transpired around that time. Yes, there are many things that on the one hand can seem like they happened a long time ago, and that same event can seem like it happened just yesterday. How can that be? Is time truly so elusive?quo_mlkjr

In some circles of philosophy, the dimension of time is considered a “human construct” that does not exist in reality. We think of time as linear, chronological, with a past, a present, and a future. But what if we think of it in that way just so that we can understand it? What if time really doesn’t exist in that way and that everything is happening at the same time? How would that change the way we saw the world and lived our lives? What if there really was no past and no future, and everything only happens in what must be the present. If, regardless of what happened in what we think of as our “past,” and if we couldn’t really create our “future,” then wouldn’t everything really just be in the present, the now?

Does that mean it doesn’t really matter what you do in any given moment because whatever you do now only matters now and that nothing you have done can every come back to haunt you? Would that really change how you would behave? Would you be more careless and carefree? Would you risk ruining this moment because it could never come back to ruin a future moment? Would you not be as determined to make the most of this moment because it wouldn’t necessarily benefit a future moment? Do you only make the most of any given moment because you believe it will make a difference in a future moment? Is this quo_edickinsonall too much to think about?

When we no longer consider the past and live only in and for the present moment, it can actually make things much simpler and our decisions more powerful and meaningful. When each decision, each and every action we take, has the power of defining each and every moment, it takes on a brand new meaning. The only moment that matters, every moment that matters, is the very moment that exists, now. No matter what you do from this moment forward, realize that your every action, every thought, every decision you make will define that very moment. See how powerful you are? How cool is that?

Please and Thank You, No!

The first lessons of good manners, and other than “Mommy” and “Daddy,” often the first words we teach our children, are “Please” and “Thank You.”  We teach them to ask nicely with a, “Please,” and to always say, “Thank you” when someone has done something kind or given them something.  The word, “No” is often the first word they remember us saying to them, repeatedly and usually with some conviction, which is why they seem all to eager to repeat it back to us, seldom to our amusement.

Hearing our children calling us “Mommy” or “Daddy” gives us parents great pride, and their following that up with an “I love you,” can bring joyful tears.  At some stage, the good manners of “Please” and “Thank you” can seem strangers while having fun with their friends, thankfully becoming reacquainted as they grow up.  What else have you noticed about the words, “Please” and “Thank you” and “No?”

Were you ever so displeased with your child saying, “No,” that you may have said something like, “Don’t you tell me no?”  The message that may send children is that they have no power and should never say “No” to an adult.  There are other interpretations, but they do learn at a very early age that “No” is not a word that they may regularly use.  Though we may not want our children to tell us that they will not clean their rooms, we do want them to know that in some cases it is perfectly appropriate for them to say, “No,” which may make it more confusing for them.

“No” is one of the most powerful words anyone can ever say.  As an adult, are you reticent to saying, “No” when asked to do that next project at work or a favor for a friend?  Might that be the result of what you learned as a child?  Were you always trying to please your parents (or to not displease them)?  Has that carried into adulthood where you find yourself wanting to be “nice” and to please others, even to your detriment?

SuccessWhat if the next time someone asks you to do something, you pause and give careful consideration to what is really best for you, and if you decide that you really don’t want to or don’t have the time, tell that someone, “No.”  Now, imagine how wonderful it feels because you haven’t added that “one more thing” to your already busy life and you can actually breathe and do something just for you!  Sometimes, our greatest successes come from our saying, “No,” because it frees us to do that which is most important for our joy and wellbeing.  How cool is that?