The Many Forms of Mercy

In my previous post I shared the experience of an ER visit and resulting surgery to implant a pacemaker due to third degree heart block with complications. When I wrote that, what had not yet returned to my memory was an incident that happened while I was in the ER. I wanted to share it with you now because I believe it is an example of how mercy in our lives takes many forms.

One of the ways we are protected by God, the Angels, our Guides, and whomever or whatever else we believe are by our side, is to limit our memory and our sensory awareness during and after traumatic events. And so it was that a couple weeks out of the hospital and into my recovery, I was struck by a memory of my time in the ER. As the memory surfaced, I recalled it as vividly as if it had happened just moments before, and I even reflected back to the time I was in the ER and said to myself, “Yea, I remember that!”

Swarmed n the ER in "Hallway 13"

Swarmed n the ER in “Hallway 13”

I was lying on the gurney in the ER, all hooked up to monitors with the doctors, nurses, and techs running around, and up walked this nicely dressed man with an ID hanging from his neck that read, “IU Health/Chaplain.” He looked at me and looked around, and then looked back at me. He looked up and off to my side, as if directing his attention to someone off to my left, and he said, “Does anyone need Last Rites?” He then looked back at me. I smiled broadly, and as if I was the one he really wanted to hear from, I said with a laugh, “Not me!” He smiled back. A few seconds later, another chaplain appeared and walked over to the first man. The second man, now with his back to me, both of them standing near the foot of my gurney, began talking with the first chaplain, who would occasionally glance over at me. Within a couple minutes, the second chaplain walked off without looking at or saying anything to me. The first chaplain looked over at me again, smiled, and said something like, “Have a nice day.” I said, “You too,” with a smile. I was planning on it!

What I realized, with increasing emotion as that memory unfolded, was that the chaplain had been called there because of me. After playing the scene all the way through, that notion hit me like a ton of bricks as my eyes filled with tears, and I felt more grateful and so blessed to be alive, to have been in such good care, and that, by the Grace of God and the Mercy of All who protect me, I am alive and well and did not need Last Rites.

We are so completely protected by God and the Universe, and my Angels knew I  was not ready to go, that I have too much yet to do, and in order to make sure I was okay, they kept that memory hidden for the few weeks I needed to get stronger before they brought it back to my consciousness. I also needed that memory to return so that I could realize, even more than I already had, how protected and loved I am, and how grateful I am to be here, on this planet, able to share lessons I’ve learned so that others may benefit.quo_edickinson

Next time your memory seems to fade or you have trouble remembering something, perhaps it may not really be a bad thing. Perhaps there is little reason for you to remember what it is you are trying so hard to remember. Maybe you are being protected for some reason, because you are certainly loved and protected, too. When you allow the fluidity of life and mercy and grace to flow, life can be simply awesome! How cool is that!

Patience and Trust

Have you ever wanted something so much that you actually tried to hold onto it so tightly that you pushed it away? Have you ever wanted something so much that you wanted it, “Now” instead of allowing the natural flow of life to allow it to happen in perfect time? I know I have, and I have also been told that I was, “Too patient.” If they could only see me now (smile). Carl Jung said, “What you resist, persists.” I believe that the opposite is also true, “What you persist, resists.” We push away that which we hold too tightly. Siddhārtha said, “You only lose what you cling to.” Even modern day philosophers like the guys of 38 Special, Barnes, Carlisi, and Peterik wrote in their song, Hold on Loosely, “Hold On Loosely but don’t let go, If you cling too tight babe, you’re gonna loose control….”

The Universal Law of Attraction says, in part, that what we concentrate on is what we get more of. So how might that apply to the above question? How might holding on to something push it away? One reason we may hold on tightly is because we are afraid that if we don’t, “it” will go away. We don’t trust the flow of life enough to believe that without our control, things won’t turn out the way we want. So the fear, “If I don’t hold on, it will go away,” is attaching all the energy to the belief that, “…it will go away.” Since we get more of what we focus our attention (and energy) on, “it” will go away. It is one of the hardest lessons we learn.

Have you ever heard the expression, “If you love something, let it go?” It doesn’t really mean to “let it go” in the sense of actually letting it slip away, but rather to trust the outcome to such a degree that you need not control it. Let go of the need to control, of having all the answers to questions that may not have answers, yet, and when you let go and, “Let God,” the truth will become clear, the outcome will be perfect, that which you really want and that which is mean to be, will be. There is a natural flow of things and all that is, is perfect. We simply have to trust, to have faith.

This Universal Law of Attraction also applies to things we are afraid of, or things we don’t want. What happens when you hear, “Don’t think of a pink Cadillac.” You have to think of a pink Cadillac before you can “delete” it, so even though I said, “Don’t….” you must. Same goes for things we are afraid of. If I’m afraid that something bad will happen, I will create the situation to make that come true. It will likely have nothing to do with the person involved, but the situation will appear to be one in which they fulfill my fear, just because I created it. And, the reality is, that all this happens at an unconscious level (may also be karmic or at a spiritual, soul level), so if someone were to say that I was the one creating it, I might think they were crazy. I mean, really, why in the world would I create something like that? Right!

Nathaniel Hawthorne said, “Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.” At this moment, I sit quietly, I trust that the outcome, that all my dreams are coming true, are forming perfectly for the highest good of all, and that in my trust and faith in my belief that all will be perfect, all my energy is calm, and all will be perfect. I hold on loosely, but don’t let go. I will never let go. ♥

Blessing and Love!

Above the Clouds

I am one of the most positive people I know, someone who has a reputation for being “Zen,” quite good at being in the “Now” and not worrying about what may or may not happen. I am a firm believer that it isn’t what happens to us but in how we deal with what happens to us that determines the life we live and our joy. The Serenity Prayer (see March 8, 2009 post) has been one of my guiding principles for many years, and I am proud of myself for all that I have accomplished, for the way I treat others, and for what I have endured.

With that said, I am also confused. I am in the midst of a struggle – a struggle to understand what it is I am meant to learn by going through this particular time of my life. Why would I create such pain in my life except to learn a lesson that will serve me, and perhaps others? My job is to help others, which I do every day. My clients have benefited greatly from working with me, and I positively affect many others, some of whom don’t even know that I have helped them. I love what I do, and I look forward to helping many more people in different ways, not only through my work as a hypnotist, but also as a speaker and writer. It seems that what I am going through, now, is a “Cobblers’ children have no shoes” kind of situation. “Healer, heal thyself.” Am I too close to see the answers, and might I even be too close to know what questions to ask? And then….

Helene Rothschild, a wonderful teacher and mentor, has taught me that when things seem really tough, when you don’t know what to do, go up! So I choose to go up, to rise above the clouds, where it is always clearer and brighter. Above the clouds, above the pain, above the despair, the answers to all of my questions (and yours) will be found. Above the clouds, where it is clearer and brighter, there is hope. Above the clouds, where all the forces of the Universe come to your aid, to guide you, to hold you, to remind you of how wonderful and beautiful you are. Above the clouds, where the songs in your heart are not distorted by outside influences or fear. Above the clouds, where unconditional love lives forever and always.

So I choose to go up, to rise above the clouds, to find the answers to all my questions. I choose to create the life that I deserve, knowing that I am good enough; I deserve to have the life of my dreams. Is “amazing” ever not good enough? Never! Amazing is always good enough. Is “amazing” too good to be true? Nope! We all deserve to be happy, and when you realize that you deserve to have exactly the life you dream of, that life will unfold before you. It is unfolding right now. If you don’t believe you deserve it, you may push it away, and you may not even realize what you are losing. What a tragedy if you push away the life you have dreamt of because you don’t believe you deserve it.

Join me above the clouds. Join me in knowing that you are good enough no matter what. Join me in knowing that you deserve to have the life you may have only dared to dream about. Helene Rothschild says, “Close your eyes and see clearly.” Go ahead and close your eyes, and see clearly the life you would love to have. It is waiting for you, right here, right now.

All the best, always,